This writing thing is throwing me for a loop. I know. Kinda sucks. I'm a writer. I recently had someone ask me if I feel pressured to "make it" now that I quit my full-time job and define myself as an author. Um, yeah. Totes presh. Not in the good way.
But it's more than that. I feel an anxiety that is pulling at me like gravity, and I want to retreat. Curl back up into my shell and let the world spin around me. Because I get nauseated at the mere thought of putting my creations on the internet for anyone to see. In the great unknown where the whole world can hack away at my thoughts or trash my art I find the most effective place I can actually share it. And that terrifies me.
So, for the most part, I avoid social media. I posted on Instagram last night. Then I deleted it.
Why would someone care?
Is that lighting bad?
Why would you post about food again when social issues are real and people are suffering?
It's hard to get out of my own head sometimes.
Lost in a sea of faces–
Behind the shadow of who you think I am.
Scrolling down a road to somewhere
Silent images howl their ridicule
My insecurities glare.
Will humanity break through the web of words–
Find flesh and bone again?
I was so down. Completely overwhelmed by the goings on in our scary world. But, I realized that in my own way, I'm letting fear win. Terrorism win. Why not say something nice, something light? Post a picture that may bring a smile? Overcome evil with good? Is it still possible?
Most of us have heard the quote: "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing," by Edmund Burke, made famous in a speech by John F. Kennedy. But when I looked up the phrase to confirm its origin, I stumbled across this gem by the same man, Edmund Burke, an Irish statesman who served in the House of Commons during the 1700s.
"Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little."
Oh, how that peirced my heart! If the little I can do is tell stories and share my emotions on a tiny blog among the masses of world wide information, then so be it. May you find a human connection through the screen displaying each thought and know that I bleed red; labor over ever word so that you might feel valued and heard.
Score a point for humanity.